The Five People on Your Work Zoom Call

  1. The overachiever: This guy got up, got dressed, and gave a few thoughts to his backdrop. Good for you, bud. Are you wearing sweatpants with that blazer? None of our business.
  2. The proud parent: Does she want to show off the baby? Maybe. Does she have a choice? No. This little tot doesn’t care about your excel spreadsheet. He wants to be fed and he will not be kept waiting.
  3. The queen of filters: Listen, between late-night TV bingeing and news-induced anxiety, sleep has been hard to come by lately, so some of us need a little help to look human. This colleague is just softening the harsh edges before jumping into your brainstorming session.
  4. The Mr. Distracto: Sure, he’s there, but he’s not paying attention. His thoughts have wandered away from deadlines and shifted to worrying about his sourdough starter. He may also be watching a YouTube tutorial on how to cut his own hair.
  5. The Pet Owner: She’s been on mute this whole time because Rufus has been barking at the neighbors all morning. Truth be told, they’re both counting down the minutes until their lunchtime walk. Staring at a screen all day has them craving some outdoor time.

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